5 ~Dear Self~

Self~

Happy 2011! Remember the 2 things you wanted to do in 2010?  You wanted to get pregnant or compete in a half marathon right?  I know you are so proud of how things turned out!!!  You never thought you would be able to do it once the rubber hit the road, but look at yourself now!  No seriously...go look in the mirror, I'll wait.

You started out last year not sure if you were going to be able to start a family and look where God has led you.  I know deep in my heart, that whatever the results would have been you would have been ok with them, because you know the big man wouldn't give you more than you could handle.  But this is where you are supposed to be, and I hope you realize this is how it was always supposed to be.

You are starting out the year on the right foot this time, and that is thanks to all the hardwork that you put in last year.  You stuck with your exercising and eating healthy thru the whole year....do you know how hard that is?  Of course you do, because this is the first time you have done it!  You are stronger, leaner and healthier then you have ever been.  You worked hard and you deserve to be proud when you look in the mirror.  Your body has done amazing things this year, some things you can can see, the others you can feel and will be thankful for in years to come.

I know you never would have thought that your blog would have brought so much joy and enlightenment into your life.  You are so much more in tune with how you feel and even better, why you feel. You were so lucky to be able to meet up with so many of your new friends, including some of the Shrinking Jeans ladies (who are freakin hilarious btw!). I hope you continue to blog for many years to come.  Seems like there are more and more people who are interested in what you have to say, you never know you might write that one post that will touch someone like so many of your new friends posts have affected you over the last year.

You have had an amazing year at work! You went above and beyond what they thought you were capable of. You rocked it girl!  Sure there were some scary times, but the economy has finally started rebounding and continues to climb back upwards.  Who knows what the future holds, maybe a transfer, maybe a promotion...but please know that the groundwork you laid and impressions that you made on management will keep you in the forefront for many years to come.

The biggest thing you should be proud of is your marriage.  Sure you had some arguments and thought you were going to lose your mind at times, but you are more in love with your husband then you have ever been.  You learned to really listen and appreciate all the idiosyncrasies of each other that make you who you are.  I think bringing back "date night" was a huge thing, so props to you for thinking of that.  You are still best friends and have been together almost 10 years....without each other you would not be complete.

Basically, you rocked this last year!  High Five!  I am so proud of you and hope that 2011 is an even better year!  What do you want to accomplish this year...think big!  You can do it!!!

~This was written as my submission for The Monday Project at the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans.
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1 Saturday Cell Phone Mosiac-Jan30th, 2010

From SCPM Jan. 30th 2010

Click on the photo above to go to Picasa where you can flip thru the pictures!

Busy Saturday, but it was good.  Apologies, I can't figure out how to get the image bigger, I'll look at it tomorrow.  Now I'm off to watch a movie with the hubs.
Come join in Saturday Cell Phone Mosiac fun with Ace and friends at  If You Think Round is Funny!
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28 You Capture-Color

I am totally cheating this week on you capture-just sayin'-please don't be angry. I didn't take any colorful pictures this week, its been a dark drab week in Ohio and nothing really caught my eye.  But the pictures I chose to share are colorful pictures from the past that make me happy.  Thinking of these bright landscapes when its so gray and cold outside lifts my spirits.  Spring is just around the corner people!
*Note: My husband actually took both of these, so I give all credit to him.  He has a great eye.


This picture was taken in my husband hometown in Ohio last summer.  It just looks so peaceful...makes me wanna grab a blanket, throw it down, take a nap and daydream.

This picture was taken in Richmond, Virginia last year....I believe the place is called Belles Island. Look at that sky!  I love this one!

Come share some color with Beth at I Should be Folding Laundry.
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13 Weigh-in Wednesday

It's time to weigh-in with Re-Think your Shrink over at Shrinking Jeans! Let's see what my scale told me this morning:

Last week: 156.4

Today: 154.8

Loss: -1.6

Challenge Total: -3.8

I had my weigh-in at WeightWatchers last night...and I was down 4 lbs from my initial weigh-in last week!  I was esctatic!  Thinking the big difference was not eating a heavy lunch yesterday like I did last week, and the fact I ate a heavier dinner last night.  Next week I'd think my two should losses (positive thinking) line up a little better...but I'll take it this week!  Great start to my WW experience.  And I did mention The Sisterhood in front of the whole meeting when they asked how I won....spread a little love for my Sista's!!

I did get 2 hour long workouts in this week, where I burned about 450 calories....and I really think that's what made the difference this week, because if you remember I did use all my extra points on Friday's fiasco of a dinner. So that's what I'm going to try to do this week...get at least 3 hourlong workouts in this week if I can.

How was your week?  Did you have a great loss...or reach a milestone?  Come share with the Sisters...we'd love to congratulate you!
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8 True Confessions Tuesday

Time to fess up to things we are proud of....and not so proud of with the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans.

*WW weigh-in tonight…hope to see a loss from my initial weigh-in…fingers crossed! It’s not until 6:30…so need to be diligent today!

*Planned on only eating half my flex points, ended up eating all of them and a few extra…did you know ¼ of a lg Donatos pizza is 17 pts!!! Well…I do now! Yikes!

*Tracked everything, even the super high day on Friday. Finding it much easier to plan the next days menus ahead of time, seeing the points sometimes changes my mind.

*Worked out 4 days….2 of those days were 60 minute workouts where I burned around 450 calories each day! Woot!

*Started opening myself up to some of the sisters, still not sure how I that will go but all I can do is be myself…as dorky and over-thinking as I am, you either like me or you don’t. Considering joining them for a gathering this year…we’ll see how that works out. I mean BeDazzler Night….who wouldn’t want to be there!!! LOL!

*I have found the support of the sisters and my other regular readers to be such an amazing thing….so thank you for all the comments, tweets and emails. I really appreciate all of my bloggy friends!!!

*I am really craving white chili again….OMG it was soo good!!!

What's on your mind this chilly Tuesday morning?  Come link up at the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans.

6 Monday morning ramblings

Some random thoughts and comments that are taking up space in my sleepy brain this morning.

~Tried on bridesmaid dress Friday night for the wedding in May that I am in. I fit into a smaller size then the one I wore in July, but still need alterations because of certain body parts that wouldn’t fit into the size dress that the rest of my body would fit into. Irritating.

~Went to the library on Saturday to surprisely find a video I have been waitlisted on since summer…just sitting in the shelves. WTF? Bride Wars…you and I have a date this week!

~Slept in on Saturday, did a small workout in the afternoon, watched a movie that night and literally fell asleep on the couch at 10PM. Got up, worked out yesterday did lots of housework and took a nap about 6. Why I am so tired this weekend??? Got a little sore throat and the sniffles this morning, maybe my body was telling me I needed rest.

~Contemplating going back to spreadsheet tracking versus journal for my points/calories and weight/workouts. Just seems easier to sort thru a food list and past favorites when its in excel, plus that’s what I work in most of the time, so it would be less obvious.

~Cell Phone contract is up next month, and I can’t decide if I want to get a new phone or keep the one I have. Need to look at new phones and see if any strike my fancy.

~Wish I knew how to make good stir-fry at home. I make it and it normally ends up just tasting like chicken and vegetables with soy sauce….not impressive at all.

~I am serious need of a color and trim and eyebrow wax….its been too long.

Anything on your mind this Monday that isn’t really that important but is taking up space in that mind of yours?

1 Saturday Cell Phone Mosiac

From SCPM Jan. 23th 2010

Click on the photo above to go to Picasa where you can flip thru the pictures!

Kind of a calm Saturday...nice after running around all week!  Come and check out what Ace and a few other friends were doing this weekend at If You Think Round is Funny!

7 I TOTALLY Rock- The Monday Project

Did you know that I ROCK?

I do...sometimes I may not feel like it, but others times I'm thining to myself....I TOTALLY ROCK!
Well here's how I see it....

I ROCK because I am taking control of my health and not letting it re-take control of me.

I ROCK because last night I did 2 workouts instead of 1...and burnt almost 450 calories!

I ROCK because I tend to be the happy smiley girl, glass half full right?  You'd be surprised how it can make someone else happy by just sharing a smile.

I ROCK because I have managed to marry a good man who would never hurt me and gives me backrubs before bed several times a week, even though sometimes I can be pissy and stubborn.

I ROCK because I  provide the income for our family, and am thankful to have been born a smartie.

I ROCK because I haven't had a breakdown because of the above....sometimes feels like a lot to carry.

I ROCK because I talk to my Grandma every single day...we have a great relationship and I am blessed to have her in my life.

I ROCK because I am part of a wonderful group of women that I am so thankful to call my friends...the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans!


How do you ROCK?  Because I know you do...so go share your reasons with the Sisterhood!

14 You Capture - Love around my home

 Of course Emma is one of the main things that screams love around our house.  She is always waiting for me to get home to jump up and give me puppy kisses...kinda asking how my day was and if it was bad, she was ready to make it better.

But she seems to have hurt her hip again this week.  She is still feeling pretty low, and has hung out on her pillow in front of the heater vent most of the week recouping.  If you do puppy prayers, please send them her way.

Here is something else that makes me feel love everytime I pass by it.

It's a magnet that my Grandma and Grandpa got for me when I first moved away from home. You see I lived with my grandparents until I was 23.  My mom lived with us off and on, but I stayed with them since I was young, they were my roots.  It traveled to college with me and even made the trip to San Diego when we lived there for a short time. I have had this magnet on the door to everyplace I have ever lived, and will do so for the rest of my life.  Its a little reminder of them and the fact that even though I moved out, I kept a big piece of them with me and I know I was still in their thoughts everyday.

Come share your love with us-we would love to see it!

18 Weigh-in Wednesday

It's time for the 3nd weigh-in of Re-Think your Shrink over at Shrinking Jeans!  The scale is down just a touch this morning, but I’m not upset. I've been exercising and drinking my water and taking my vitamins, I know that’s just how this whole thing works…ebbs and tides right?

Last week: 156.6

Today: 156.4

Loss: -0.2

Challenge Total: -2.2 

I officially started my Weight Watchers meetings last night, and I really like the leader and the group. If you recall, I had some hesitations about how the meeting would go.There are probably about 20 people there, and there were 4 new members last night…so its nice not to be the only one getting used to the program.  And I even contributed!  They were talking about exercise and I mentioned ExerciseTV and how awesome I thought it was for trying out new programs.  A member came up after class and asked me more about how to find it!  Felt good to help someone, even if it was in a small way!

I did weigh myself at home fully dressed before going over there and their scales were only .4 higher than mine at home- so that’s good. Now the question is do I track with the Sisterhood using my fully dressed Tuesday evening WW weigh-in number or do I continue with my Wed morning in the buff weigh-in? What do any of you who attend meetings do?  Thinking I'll continue with my Wed numbers but report when I reach any milestones with Weight Watchers.

How was your week...was the scale kind to you or did it shake it's little finger in your face?  Come share with us!

14 True Confessions Tuesday

 Time to open our hearts and share at the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans.


1) I had a meltdown on Saturday, like the snot coming out of your nose crying meltdown. You know, the one where you are crying and then you just cry harder because of how hard you are crying. And then when you try to explain why you are crying, you just feel even more upset and cry some more. Anyone? No….just me, ok then…nevermind.

2) I have been counting my points, getting my water in and exercising regularly the past week, even working out Friday evening. Kind of frustrated that the scale really hasn’t budged since last WI…but trying not to let it get me down, I know I’m doing the right stuff.

3) Emma must have hurt herself again, after babying her all weekend, she was doing better and then yesterday started slowing down again.

4) CONFESSION: I skipped my workout last night after getting home and finding out Emma wasn’t feeling good again. Feel bad about it and can’t wait to exercise after my meeting tonight before Biggest Loser comes on!

5) What meeting you ask? I am officially starting Weight Watchers tonight…my first meeting is at 6:30! Got my passes I won in the 12 Days of Christmas giveaway here at Shrinking Jeans and can’t wait to get started.

6) CONFESSION: I am so nervous about being judged at the meeting tonight. I have only gone to one open house before and got the “What are you doing here” look…like I wasn’t big enough to be there. Do I need to lift up my shirt and actually show them my muffin-top spilling over my pants? Or wear a nametag with my BMI plastered on it? I’m praying that was just a rare occurrence and tonight I will be welcomed with open arms.

7) For the time being, for reasons that I am not ready to share, operation baby is on standby so to speak. I am really sad about this, but understand the reasons and know that whatever is meant to happen will happen. Looking to a higher power to help us along this journey.

Well now that you all know what an emotional week it has been, come share your thoughts and trials with the Sisters…we all are really good listeners!

16 Motivational Wall - The Monday Project

Here's a look at my Motivational Wall....I am going to stick all of these on a board and keep it on my bathroom door so I can look at it everyday!  Here are some reasons why I chose the things I did:

~Reminder to believe in myself

~Some of my favorite characters...powerful and good ladies

{ok so Strawberry Shortcake ins't a superhero, but she makes me smile}

~A picture of me at my best and at my worst...and the weights to go along with it

~My first 5K time that I intend on easily passing this year

~Former Ohio State player James Laurinaitis...because he gets everybody pumped up for 4th down

{this is my 4th down-game on!}

~The Columbus Half-Marathon...something to push myself towards

~My 3 biggest supporters {my husband, my grandma and my mom}

These images provoke so many feelings inside of me....motivation, strength, support, power, love and hope.
I hope your wall makes you feel like this too!  Come link up with the Sisterhood and share what motivates you!

23 You Capture - Winter

Show me WINTER!  Well that's what Beth said for this week's You Capture.  So let me share some of our winter wonderland here in Ohio lately. We had 5-6 inches of snow last week, and the single digit temps left some of these beautiful icicles hanging around.  Some of them started to drip around our Christmas lights and even started to form new ones off of others.

What does winter look like in your area?  Come share with us at I Should be Folding Laundry.

13 Weigh-in Wednesday

It's time for the 2nd weigh-in of Re-Think your Shrink over at Shrinking Jeans!  Let's see how I did.

Last week: 157.2

Today: 156.6

Loss: -0.6
Challenge Total: -2.0

Kinda bummed it wasn't at least a pound, but its going the right way so I'll take it.  I have been tracking my calories and drinking multiple bottles of water each day, so I know that is helping.  I have been working out again, every other day, but maybe I need to get back to it everyday.  Did No More Trouble Zones on Monday and holy moly....my thighs are still sore and heavy today!  That Jillian really knows how to work a sister! Excited because I am supposed to get my vouchers to start Weight Watchers next week...excited about that...never been to meetings.

How did you do this week....did you stick with your goals?  Don't forget to stop over and weigh-in with the Sisterhood and let us know how your weigh-in went!

10 True Confessions Tuesday

Let’s see…what has been weighing heavy on my heart and soul this week? Time to 'fess up for the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans.

1) I am feeling like I’m not really giving my hubby the attention he deserves, need to work on that. Guess sometimes I just get to comfortable and need to take a step back and work at trying to make him spontaneously happy.

2) We ordered pizza Friday night, and I am discovered that I love banana peppers. Don’t really know if that counts as a confession, but wanted to share it anyway.

3) I drank a full strength Mt Dew on Sunday, felt a migraine coming on sometimes caffeine helps.

4) I planned on working out Sunday night after dinner, but started sneezing a dozen times in a row repeatedly and felt achy, thought I needed to rest.  Think it was a good call, as I slept like a log and woke up with a sore throat Monday morning.

5) Emma hurt her leg on the ice Friday so we had to baby her all weekend, carrying her up and down the stairs and not letting her jump off the couch. It made me sad to think she’s getting older and will start having more aches and pains.

6) I’m proud of myself for finishing the No More Trouble Zones workout last night, even though I wanted to tell Jillian to surrender herself after making me do those horrible surrender reps (WTF!) (yeah, maybe someday I’ll incorporate weights above my head, but not now sister!)

7) I sampled one of the Pecan Crowns that came in the mail from my Shrinking Jeans friends last night…then I sampled another. Ruling: they are ah-mazing good.

8) I’m contemplating starting to drink coffee again. I am loving hot cocoa in the mornings and am counting the calories, but wonder if I’d be better off drinking coffee with SF creamer. Less calories but more caffeine…which is really better for my body?

Whew...that feels better!  Anything you need to get off your chest this week?  We have some great listeners over at the Sisterhood!  Come share!

14 The Monday Project-Project Me

Let me tell you...the first Shrinking Jeans homework assignment for Rethink your Shrink was tough! It really was!  Nothing like trying to understand why you do things and then realizing some of them and how easy they should be to change, right?  Seems like it should be pretty easy, but I guess if it were then none of us would be where we are.  So here goes my introspection...maybe some of you can provide me insight or something that worked for you.

Here are some pictures of me from the last few years.  Using these as motivation! (and of course I tinkered with various haircolor and styles...I'm a woman!)

2006  (190ish lbs)

 

 2007  (170ish lbs)

 

 2008  (180ish lbs)

When did I hit my “rock bottom”?
My rock bottom moment was on my birthday of 2008. A friend had a Luai party and everyone was planning on wearing their bathing suits and grass skirts. Well being a “bit on the plump” side I decided just to get a lei and that would be my Hawaiian wardrobe.

Here I am right before I headed to the party. (189 lbs)

 So I get to the party, excited to see my friends, yet it was soo depressing to see all these women who were confident in their bodies having fun and there I was sitting with my feet in the pool. I vowed then and there that next year I would wear a bikini to my friends Luai party.

What was my plan for 2009?
So I started watching my calories and dropped 10 lbs by Labor Day...met my first mini goal.  Felt great, was on my way to losing some more...and then my world collapsed when my mom suddenly passed away.  I spent the next 3 months just trying to keep my head above water and not cry at the drop of a hat.  End up gaining almost all of it back.

Christmas 2008  (185 lbs)

So I revamped my goals after New years.  I wanted to lose 15 lbs by Valentines day, 30 lbs by Easter, 50 lbs by my birthday in July and meet my goal of losing 65 lbs by Labor Day.

Did I meet my goals?
I met the first 2 goals, then backslide a bit, missed the birthday goal by 10 lbs and then only lost another 7 lbs thru labor day and then started backsliding to where I ended the year. It seems like I still feel the need to reward myself for meeting a mini-goal by splurging and enjoying all the foods I used to do and not exercising regularly if at all. Sometimes those splurges easily feel all too comfortable and I get back to how I used to be which lead me to almost 200 lbs.

Here is a comparison picture from my birthday in 2008 (189 lbs) and 2009 (159 lbs).

September 2009 (142 lbs) (just days before I stopped exercising and counting my calories)

Why didn't I meet those goals...what stopped me?
Besides the whole treating myself with food for loosing weight thing?  (now that I write that it sounds awful!)  Basic motivation is the toughest for me. I can be a positive person and often have to pat myself on the back for the little things I do everyday in the right direction, just to keep myself from slipping back to my unhealthy patterns.

What about 2009 did not work?
I tend to have patterns where I go really good, reach a mini-goal I set for myself and then “take a break” and backslide 5-10 lbs in the wrong direction.

What are my weaknesses?
I like really good burgers and fries….and Reeses products: cups, eggs, pieces…anything with chocolate and peanut butter basically.

What are my strengths?
I used to keep a spreadsheet of all my foods, my daily weight, and when I exercised and how many calories I burned. I liked being able to see the relation between what I lost that week and the calories I put in my body. Working out definitely worked. Although I didn’t make my weight goal, I continued to shrink while working out. It IS true! I also started the C25K program, and got up to running 5 minutes at a time, then had some ankle trouble and never got back to it. I know that if I want to see results, whether it’s on the scale or by looser fitting clothes, I have to work at it.

December 31, 2009...158.6 lbs

 

Ready to continue my journey

5 You Capture - 2009 Year in Review

Time to talk a walk along memory lane with You Capture this week.  I started contributing photos to You Capture in August of last year, but am excited to be a part of such an awesome sharing project!  Here are a few of my favorite captures from 2009.

I love to capture the Miss Emma.

I love to capture the unique colors of flowers.

I like to capture the beauty in things I pass by everyday.


Thank you to Beth for bringing You Capture to her blog...I can't wait to see how she challenges us this year!  Stop over and see what everyone else was up to this year at I Should Be Folding Laundry.

18 Weigh-in Wednesday

It's time for the 1st weigh-in of 2010 over at Shrinking Jeans!  Whose excited?  I actually am this time....probably because I have been gotten back on track with watching what I stick in my mouth and started slowly exercising again.  Hope the scale reflects my resolution to get back on track.

Last week: 158.6

Today: 157.2

Loss: -1.4

Yippee!  Haven't seen a negative in front of a weigh-in for quite a while...I forgot how good it feels!  I have been taking my vitamins everyday and finishing at least 2 water bottles down while I'm at work (32oz each).  Got a journal that I am tracking my foods on, and so far have been good about it.  Started Shredding again and even tried Yoga last night while dinner was in the oven.  That lady was really perky and my core was burning when I got done.  Then I fell asleep on the couch after dinner.  Must have really relaxed me!

How did you do this week....was it a good start to the new year.  Don't forget to stop over and weigh-in with the Sisterhood and let us know how your weigh-in went!

2 Project 365

After looking thru so many blogs that I follow and seeing that they are starting to document the new year in pictures.  I'm really smitten with the idea of starting a photo blog for 2010.  So I made the decision last night to go for it!  I already had snapped pictures on each day of something, so why not continue to do that for the rest of the year!

Come along on my journey thru 2010 at Project Ladybugs.   I'll still have random pics on here, but vow to never duplicate...so stop over and see what made me smile on any given day!

7 Flashback

One of my besties was moving some pictures over from myspace to facebook and tagged me in this one from our Sex and the City premier (via small Ohio town).  I was going to delete it but instead thought I would keep it as motivation to never let myself get back to this point again. 

May 2008...weighing close to 190 lbs.

I think its interesting that I am the only one dressed in black....guess I thought it was slimming.  Not so much.

5 My Goals for the first Shrinking Jeans Challenge of 2010

Happy 2010 Everybody!  The year is getting off to a great start with a brand new Shrinking Jeans challenge.  Re-Think Your Shrink is encouraging us to really look at the way we are going thru our journey and make changes if they are necessary.  Obviously a 10 lb gain over the last few months has me needing make some adjustments.

So here are my goals for this challenge.

1. Take my vitamins everyday.
2. Drink at least 8 glasses/2 liters of water per day (I am going to get a new water bottle this weekend to help encourage me to do that).
3. Reach a challenge goal weight of 150 lbs...that means I need to lose 8.6 lbs in the next 7 weeks.

When I go to pick up my new water bottle, I am also going to pick up a notepad to keep in my purse for my food journal.  I was tracking it in a spreadsheet, but sometimes its easier throughout the day to just update my journal.  Who knows, maybe I'll go back to the spreadsheet...either way I am going to start tracking my food intake again.  Also this will be an easy way to keep track of my water and vitamin.

When (notice I didn't say if) I reach my goal weight of 150 when this challenge is over, I am going to buy some new makeup...because that always makes a girl feel good!