7 Dreams happen for a reason

I am a dreamer. A wake up crying, with a racing heartbeat kinda dreamer. I haven't had any dreams about certain people in a while, but this week is proving to be full of them!

Monday night I had a dream about my Grandpa.  I was moving out of my house that I lived in with him and Grandma and was really upset and crying.  I didn't want Grandma to think I was abandoning her, but it was time for me to move out and go my own way. (I'm not sure of the timeframe, cause a lot of things were now, but some things were just like they were when I moved out in 1999).

So I got in the car which was packed full of stuff and went to pull back out of our gravel driveway.  Ended up backup circling all the way around the yard and pulled right back into the spot I was at. I ran out of the car and ran up and hugged Grandpa really tight and told him I was sorry and that I would miss him.  He just hugged me and said that he knew, that he would be fine.  I then turned to Grandma who was crying too (see where I get that from) and she said I'm just gonna miss you, you are my baby girl. (insert more sobbing on my part)

I turned and looked at Grandpa and he said "Mom, it's what she got to do" and that seemed to make something click and she was like "I know, you go have fun, and call me when you get there."  Grandpa just smiled and pulled up his jeans a little like he always did. (cause he never wore his belt tight enough anyway, you know that kinda Grandpa). I walked back to the car and told myself to calm down and thought to myself...calm down, everything is going to be ok, you have other things to worry about. This was huge, because I rarely can calm myself down in reality so to have myself tell myself to calm down and breathe in a dream was a major thing.  Like, wow I really am living it....and dreaming it. That made me smile. Maybe Grandpa was trying to tell me to calm down and just breathe, everything will be ok cause it's what I got to do.

I wasn't feeling very well last night and went to lay in bed about 9ish to finish watching Biggest Loser.  I didn't end up falling asleep until about 11.  But when I did, I was thrilled to have another dream.  This one included my mom.

We were having a cookout at our house, and there were tons of people in the backyard (remember I have a big family).  There was Grandma and aunts and uncles and cousins and babies and in-laws from all over.  I looked over in the corner and saw my mom laughing and smiling with a few of my aunts. She was eating something that we grilled up and I waved and she smiled and mouthed that the food was really good! I went to get up to head over to see her, but someone leaned over the fence and called for me. It was my neighbor wanting to congratulate me on graduating. I said thank you (?huh?) and went to turn around to go back and talk to mom.

She was getting up and walking over to come talk to me.  She never made it over, got distracted taking to another family member, but I just remember her laughing and smiling and having fun with everyone else.  I dare to almost say that she was beaming, her smile was so bright!  It felt great to see her there and so happy. She must have known I needed that right now.

This afternoon when I drive home will mark 2 years since I last talked to my mom. She passed away about 8 hours later.  I am so thankful that I got to say goodbye to her that day and tell her that I loved her. 

Last year was really tough and I got home and cried for hours.  This year feels even heavier for so many reasons.  There is so much going on right now within my family that I feel kinda lost without having her to talk to about things.  I know that she is around me now more then ever and I will continue to talk to her and listen and look for signs from her.  It will be a sad drive home, but knowing that Grandpa and her are together up there smiling and watching over me will make it a little bit easier.  I have two amazing guardian angels keeping an eye on me and that is such a comforting thing.  I'll talk to you on the ride home Mom.

4 Monday Ramblings

Hi friends..long time no talk.  Let's start with some updates.

My Aunt Debbie finished her Avastin treatment last week. She hasn't had any more problems with blood clots so that's a blessing but her foot is starting to turn down a little bit and she can't walk anymore.  My uncle has decided to admit her to a rehab/extended care facility for a few weeks to get some PT twice a day to see if they can get her any more mobile.  She is pretty tired and is unable to feed herself. I guess she has been sleeping alot lately. So let's hope that she can get some help at the rehab center and keep her spirit up. Love you Aunt Debbie...you are a tough cookie....keep fighting!

One of my cousins is pregnant with her second child and is due in Early January.  She was admitted to the hospital late last week.  She is 29 weeks and was having contractions and dilating.  They did some type of test to see if her water was going to break in the next few weeks, that came back ok so she got to come home this weekend.  She goes in every few days for an ultrasound to monitor the baby's progress but for now she is dilated 2 and 70% effaced. Dr would like for her to keep baking until December 10.  So hang in there baby Hudson-another 7 weeks till it's time to meet you!

Emma had her teeth cleaned last week...and she did wonderful!  She is my baby and I was so worried about how she would handle the anesthesia. But she came out with flying colors...and her teeth look fabulous!  Way better then I ever dreamed they would and her bad breathe is a thing of the past!  They ended up having to extract 3 small ones in the back and she has to take some antibiotics for a bit, but she's just as peppy as always.

Ellie is doing really good...anymore its Emma who snips at her.  Our neighbor Kim brought over a giftbag for the girls.  There were some homemade dog treats and some chewable goodies and a kong for Ellie.  She loves it!  Thanks Kim....great idea!  We decided to get her a kong frisbee to play with outside and that's all she wants now.  She is really a sweetie and will just sit beside you, of course needing to be petted almost constantly.  We are happy with our decision to bring her into the family...she's making improvements every day.

I'm feeling good, work has calmed down a bit after last week's craziness.  I was fighting some sniffles but that seems to have passed me by thank goodness. We have some stuff we want to do around the house, including get some new insulation sometime in the next few weeks so that will be good before the cold weather sets in.  We went to the Ohio State football game on Saturday, and it was perfect football weather! I'll try to post some pics of that soon, we had a great time, just me and my man.  We did finally turn on our heater last week but was able to turn it down and open some windows yesterday, it was a beautiful fall day!

Hope you all have a great week! Anything I missed that you want to share?

8 Hello Internet...did you miss me?

Hello….is this thing on, anybody still out there? Been a while since I’ve stopped by, didn’t know if anyone still checked my little blog. I haven’t posted since before I went to Chicago (wow that was 3 weeks ago already). It has been really crazy lately at work with the end of our fiscal year, so I had to put some extra hours in. A lot has been going on at home and with my family and I’m just trying to keep up with all of it.  Some happy, some sad, some fun and some difficult stuff, I’m just trying to keep afloat.. I love all my bloggy friends, but lately I’ve felt the need to spend more time with my hubby and canine kiddos and family. I know you will be here when I have time to blog regularly again. 

I’m still tweeting from time to time, so you may have been keeping up with me there!

So a few days before I left for Chicago, we adopted Ellie. She is a sweet black lab mix, about a year old. She and Emma are doing pretty good together, except the times Ellie tries to pick Emma up by her neck. But don’t you worry, Emma puts her in her place real quick. She still is the queen of her castle, that will never change.  Someday they will be napping together, but they aren’t quite there yet. 

Ellie loves catching Frisbees and tennis balls, something that we could never really do with a Doxie. 

So that’s kept my husband having fun with her. She minds about 75% of the time and doesn’t really bark or chew, so we are pretty happy with her and how she is working into our family.

Chicago was a fun time with my beautiful friend Lauren! 

We went into the city on Friday walked around a bit before jumping on the "L" and heading to the game. 

 We stopped and had some drinks next to the stadium before the game. 

I had to buy a Cubs shirt...I liked this one cause it is just as much Chicago as it is Cubs.

We had awesome seats, I so wish I had brought my zoom lens with me! 

They ended up loosing, but it was a great experience.

Then the next day visited the Brookfield Zoo….it was a cool brisk day 

so it was perfect for walking around seeing all the animals. 

Sunday we just chilled at the house and watched football and relaxed. She has 3 cats and I unfortunately think that I learned that am allergic to them if I stay in the same room for more then 8 hours. 

They were super sweet and Will quickly became my buddy. It was great to see her and her husband. 

They opened their beautiful home to me and we had a great time catching up! Miss ya L!

I am realizing I love my husband more and more everyday. We have been together for almost 10 years and next month will be married for 6. Sometimes in the everyday life, I'm sure I act like I take him for granted. But I know how special a relationship like ours is and I'm going to try to show him more that I appreciate him.  I had a great time in Chicago with my friend, but I was glad to come home to him and our little family. I loved seeing some of the sights but found myself thinking how much he would have liked seeing them too. I guess that’s how you know you found the one. Even when you are looking forward to a little time away, you can’t help but think about them and get that little twinkle in your eye. He still gives me that twinkle. He’s my best friend, and I am so thankful that he loves me and supports me!

The day I got back from Chicago, we went to my hometown for Debbie’s Birthday dinner. 

Her daughter had a cow cake made, it was really cute. 

It was nice to see everyone come out for her special day! 

That Friday, they found a blood clot in her leg and had to spend about a week in the hospital. She eventually had to get a port put in because her veins kept popping, my moms used to be like that. 

So she had that done last Tuesday and got to go home on Thursday. She is still in her wheelchair, but seems to be in good spirits. They are going to have PT come in a few times a week to see if she can get her strength up to walk a little more to make it easier for her to go potty and get into bed. 

She has her last dose of Avastin today, so pray that it starts to heal her.

Let’s see what about some other random updates:

*I’m down a lb this week, so the extra I gained is a thing of the past. I got booted last week from the Sisterhood Challenge, but in my heart I will always be a Burgundy Babe. I’ve put the running thing on hold for now, I normally end up burning more calories walking or shredding anyway. However I haven’t done either of those since I’ve been back either. Gotta work on that. I know.

*I have been missing my mom a lot lately, the end of this month will be 2 years since she passed. Something popped in my mind the other day and I remember shopping at 16 Plus in the mall with her when I was a child…I would love to help her pick out some clothes and she would always let me choose a necklace or earrings or something. I wish we could go shopping again, I’m in need of some new clothes.

*My cousins and their babies are doing well, those girls are getting so big. Josie (14mos) has started walking and Aubrey (6mos) is being attentive and interacting more everyday! They are so cute and I can’t help but smile whenever I see their tiny little faces. Josie’s Momma is expecting a little boy and is the cutest little pregnant woman! She’s due in early Jan, but is measuring about a week bigger and the dr thinks she probably go about 37 wks. Can’t wait to meet baby Hudson!

*My BFF’s twins are turning One the start of next month! I can’t believe they are a year old already! Can’t wait to see them smash some cupcakes in their face. I am amazed by the patience my friend shows everyday being a mom of twins, I think I would be at the brink of tears everyday. But they are doing well, getting healthier everyday, so that is a great thing!

*Other then that I’m doing really well, happy to be healthy and am blessed with so many good things and people in my life right now. Even during the rough, emotional times, I continue to believe in miracles and in love because they are everywhere…sometimes its just easier to see them.
Wishing you miracles and love too!