5 Happy Birthday Mom

Today would have been my Mom's 58th birthday.  She passed away 13 months ago.  The one year anniversary of her death was a very hard day. I choose to spend that day with my Grandma and went to the cemetery and prepared  to see the headstone for the first time later that week. Tears were shed because I wish that day had never happened...that it would have taken place 20 years in the future instead of a year ago. 

After much reflection, I have decided I will not be going to the cemetary today.  It just doesn't feel right today...today is a celebration of her life and not a day to mourn that she isn't here to celebrate it.  She was such a warm-hearted person....there weren't many people like my mom.  She had the biggest heart and cared about everyone!  She was such a gentle spirit...and that is what I will remember today.

Instead I have decided to I will be decorating our house for Christmas today!  My mom loved my Christmas trees and love the thought of everyone getting together for the holidays!  What a better way to picture her smiling then to get my house ready for the season.  I also think I am going to try a new recipe for dinner tonight, she always laughed at my kitchen antics...so hopefully she will help me whip up something tasty!

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Happy Birthday Mom....I know your spirit and soul surrounds me when I need it most.  I hope that never changes.  I see the signs...and I'm so thankful for them.  Every single ladybug you send me, the random cat that visited us that day at the cemetery and rubbed on your marker and looked at me with big round eyes, and the dreams of when you visit me, all remind me that you are still around.  I love you and I miss you.  Happy Birthday Mama!

8 You Capture - FOOD

Food...a thing that has been on all of our minds this week with the Thanksgiving Holiday upon us.  Here is what I am taking to my family's dinner today (along with corn casserole that isn't yet finished!). 

Sweet & Salty Cookie Bars

Recipe
2 large rolls of refrigerated cookie dough
1 1/2  cup chocolate chips
1 cup broken pretzel pieces
1 cup honey roasted peanuts

~Take one and a half rolls of the cookie dough and flatten out into 9x13 pan
~Top with 1 cup each of the chocolate chips, nuts and pretzels
~Push into dough to help stick together better
~Top with chunks of remaining cookie dough
~Sprinkle last 1/2 cup of chocolate chips
~Bake at 350 degrees for about 30 minutes or until edges are brown
~Cut into bars and enjoy!

What yummy food did you capture this week...stop over and share at I Should be Folding Laundry.

7 Weigh-in Wednesday

Well it's that time again...my friends over at Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans tell me I gotta step up and weigh in.  GULP.  Here we go.

SUCK. I'm up 2.8 lbs.

I know what I've done (enjoyed too many tasty things this weekend for our anniversary and hubby's birthday) and what I haven't done (no miles or exercise logged this week).  I just am really struggling to get back to the routine...more so then ever.

I told myself I would never go back to weighing more than 150 lbs...yet I found myself less then a pound away this morning.  Tell me that wasn't a wake-up call screaming at me to get my ass back in check!  Now. I will not go back.

3 Happy Birthday Grandma

Happy 77th Birthday Grandma!

Grandma kisses are the best!

 (Grandma and my cousin Matthew last year at the Light the Night walk)

You would read me books every single night....I think that is why I am so smart.

You would trace the outline of my face with your finger to help me fall asleep....I think that is why I am so happy.

You would  let me use the push button phone and the JCPenney catalog to play store...I think that is why I am went into Finance.

You would let me sleep in your bed when I was scared...I think that is why I feel safe.

You would get teary when we watched the homeless man steal a can of tuna on Highway to Heaven....I think that is why I am so compassionate.

You would chauffer me anywhere I wanted to go when I was a teenager...I think that is why I am a social butterfly.

You would stay up reading till I got home from the movies safe...I think that is why I worry.

You would let me eat mashed potatoes and corn for dinner if I wanted to...I think that is why I love vegetables.

You would praise me for making the honor roll...I think that is why I wanted to go to college. 

 You would do anything in the world for me...and I know that is why I am blessed to truly know the meaning of family.

Thank you Grandma for having 10 children...and for making me feel like the 11th!  You have created an amazing family that is filled with love, beauty, strength, compassion, and happiness. 

I hope today you can feel the love and the appreciation we all have for you.  I am so blessed to have you in my life...you give me strength every single day.

You have taught me how to love....and for that I am thankful!

7 Happy 5th Anniversary to us!

5 years ago today...I married the love of my life.

I took one last look at the single woman in the mirror before walking down the isle to meet the man who wanted me to be his wife.  He choose me....of all the girls in all the world...he choose me!

The feelings I felt when I walked down to meet him will never be forgotten.  The look in his eyes and the smile on his face will stay in my heart forever.  He was just as excited to start the journey as I was!  I swear you could have turned off all the lights and the glow from our love could have lit up the whole church.

We were so blessed to be surrounded by family and friends on that day.  Having everyone there to celebrate us as a couple was amazing. I felt like a princess that day...and I had finally found my prince!

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Happy 5th anniversary to my love.  You bring color into my world and love into my life. I am blessed to be married to my best friend and I pray that we have 55 more years ahead of us. We have laughed and smiled during all the good times and cried and leaned on each other during the hard times. 

Last year has been the toughest of my life, and you were there to hold me whenever I needed it.  You have been my rock.Thank you for being patient, kind, thoughtful, and supportive...and every other little thing you have done to make me smile and feel loved.  Most of all...thank you for being you.  I love you!

16 You Capture - SUNSET

The prettiest sunsets look like they are made of cotton candy.

What sunset or sunrsie did you capture this week? Come share the beauty at I Should be Folding Laundry.

4 Weigh-in Wednesday

Thank goodness I have the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans to keep me accountable...I needed them more than they realized this week!  I had a loss of .2 this week...but I was sooo close to reporting a big gain!  Let me elaborate.

I have been off track for almost the entire month of October.  The scale has fluctuated up and down and I stopped doing C25K when my knee started to ache, and never started back up again.  Well this weekend, when I stepped on the scale I almost cried.  It read 149.6!  Seriously?  Yeah...seriously.  I had gained 7 lbs since October 7th....that made me feel pretty shitty.  So I made a pact to refocus and start back on my journey to reaching my goal weight.  I am not happy at this weight...so I need to do something about it and quit belly-aching!

This morning the scale read 146.4, down .2 from last week.  It's down a few lbs of bloat from this weekend (thank goodness) but still far from where I was a month ago.  But I will get back there...and hope to do it by the end of the Shrink-A-Versary Challenge!  Initially I wanted to be under 140...but I will be happy if I get back to 142.  Anything else after that is just icing on the cake.

So thank you all for the kind words of support on my realization post, I will continue to lean on you for support and general ass-kicking to stay on track this time.  I can do this....I've already lost 40 lbs...the next 20 is possible!  I started walking again this week and I realized how much I missed it!

How was your week?  Come share your story with the Sisterhood.

6 Focus on the here and now...stop thinking about what-ifs

 Ugh, time for a confession post....this is gonna hurt...but the truth normally does.

I haven't been taking care of myself for the last few weeks.  I have been eating whatever I wanted basically and lounging more than normal.  I have been selfish and thinking that the stars were going to align for me and bless us with a pregnancy the very first month of being off birth control pills.

I have gotten away from tracking all my calories and measuring my foods, strayed from planning my meals and making sure I got all my water in, and haven't worked out 4-5 days a week in well over 3 weeks. 3 weeks!  I feel like I will have to start C25K all over again, I can't imagine running for 3 minutes at a time right now!

WTF!  How did I let myself get so far away from the plan?


I have changed my tracking to temps, opks and symptoms instead of calories, menus and pounds.  My spreadsheets were telling me different things about my body, but while I was doing this I slipped away from tracking what I was putting into my body and how my body was reacting to it.  It was such a part of my life, but somehow I strayed away from putting it all in writing.

And for me seeing it in writing, staring at me from my computer screen is what works for me.  I need to see how it all adds up, and just because I haven't been tracking it for the last few weeks doesn't mean it hasn't been adding up on my body.  And I can feel it.  Amazing how different I feel with 3 lbs added to my body that I know are made fully of fluff.  There's no new muscles to blame it on, no water retention, just fluff and sugar and fat...straight up.

So I am going to start tracking my food and exercise over here.  I'm not expecting anyone to follow it, but if you do happen to swing by, feel free to give me your thoughts on things that might be missing or ways to make better use of my calories.  I just need to see it in writing....to have something to look back at when the scale tells me something I wasn't expecting and say...oh yeah, that's why.

I am going to do this...because the better health I am in, the better place I will be if we are blessed with a pregnancy.  I owe it to myself to focus on me for the next few months and do all that I can to make myself healthy and happy.

25 You Capture - REAL LIFE

Beth couldn't have picked a better subject this week....at least for me!

My best friend had twin girls this weekend....Alexis and Kenzie arrived 4 hours apart early on Saturday morning.  I went to visit them last night...and they are perfect! 

They came in weighing 5 lbs 5oz and 5 lbs 11 oz...they were born at 37 weeks. What beautiful examples of life!

 

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 Yesterday my husband heard the dog barking....looked outside and this is what he saw.

 

Guess the guy was thirsty!  He stomped 2 holes in our net before sticking his head thru to get a drink.  My husband watched him for a few minutes before he just sauntered away.  I love seeing such raw examples of life right out my front door!

What happened in your real life this week?  Stop over and share with everyone at You Capture!

7 Weigh-in Wednesday

Ugh, time for weigh in.  As you can probably sense, I am not really looking forward to it this morning.  I am down .2 this week which I will take with a smile.  Not much…but I am shocked to see its not up 2 lbs.  Mainly because I may or may not have been eating everything in sight this last week-including caramel apple pie, pizza and regular soda-on multiple occasions.  Gasp!

It has been a rough week, and I haven’t made the best choices, except for finishing my 5K on Saturday (yeah me!).  So I’m moving onto a fresh week, hoping to keep my cravings in check and see a bigger loss next week.

Today I am wearing my “Courage” necklace that Christie sent me from her Etsy shop.  I love it and now have  a visual reminder that even though the road may be bumpy, I need to have the courage to make it thru these tough times in order to prepare myself for sunny days ahead!  It's not supposed to be easy....that's why we have to work for it.  Note to self...start working for it!

How was your week? Stop over and share your story at The Sisterhood!

***PS-I am starting to realize that my focus on fertility is taking over my focus on weight loss....I need to keep them both in check.  Being successful at weight loss will only help my journey to becoming a mother.  I can have both right?

12 My 5K Experience

Saturday morning I got up bright and early (well for a Saturday anyway) to prepare myself for my first 5K.  The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans put the challenge out for everyone to join in this weekend in support of World Run Day.There wasn't a 5K around my town, so I pledged to make my own!  Our neighborhood oval is just over a mile long...so I planned to do it three times and call it a 5K...close enough right?  I got up put on my workout clothes and Polar HRM, did some stretches and was ready to go!

I started the walk....which I guess this is a good time to interject that I had initially thought I would do intervals of running/walking, but once I got started my knee was still a little tweaky so I made the decision not even to attempt to run any of it because I was afraid that I felt too much pain I would give up...and this day wasn't about giving up.

So I went ahead and walked my first mile...it was quiet in the neighborhood, only passed maybe 3 houses with people picking up their paper or raking leaves.  Into the second mile I thought, wow...I haven't EVER walked more than 2 miles...this is going to ROCK!  I was feeling a little lethargic, but knew I had to do it.  When I crossed the line (my driveway) where I was starting my 3rd and final lap, I looked up to the front door to see my husband and dog standing there looking for me!  I gave him the thumbs up and mouthed 2 down...one more!  He smiled and gave me the thumbs up!  That lifted my spirits to push thru the last mile with more gusto then the first.

Last mile went pretty quick, by this time the sun had started to come out a little more and I had a little sweatshimmer going on.  I got back to my driveway and my love was waiting to take my picture as I crossed the finish line! 

I did it....my first 5K!  Even if it wasn't a "real" 5K...it was to me.  I did it, nobody helped me and I didn't make excuses.  I did it...and I felt great!  Thanks to my beloved HRM, I was able to track my lap times.  1st lap was 18:37, 2nd was 18:07 and the final was 17: 34!  Its supposed to get better each lap...and mine did!  Rock on!  Burnt 438 calories and reached my goal of finishing in less than an hour.  I bet that by more than 5 minutes!

I now have a starting point, and I pledge that my next 5K whether it be organized or not...will be even better.  But this one, knowing that I was doing it along with dozens of other women and men all across the country, will always hold a special place in my heart.  I did it.

20 You Capture - ANYTHING!

Thought maybe we all could use a reminder of summer now that the chill has started to set in for most of us in the North.  All these lilies are now absent from my backyard,  but the memory of their vibrant orange color will stay with me all year long.

Feeling silly at our Halloween Wienie Roast on Saturday.  Remember when you thought it was the coolest thing ever when you figured out how to make it look like you were holding fire?

Stop over and see what everyone is sharing at You Capture this week.

10 Weigh-in Wednesday

Time for the first weigh-in of the Shrinking Jeans Extravaganza! If you haven’t stopped by to check on the awesome prizes they are giving away DAILY…then you need to go get on board!

This week the scale was at 146.8. Down .6 from last week, so it’s moving in the right direction. Got back on track and started exercising again this week after a 2 week hiatus. Felt good to burn some calories again! I need to up my water intake, thinking I’ve slacked off a bit too much, barely finishing a liter while at work.

If you recall, the Sisterhood is taking part in a Virtual 5K this weekend in support of World Run Day. I will just be doing it around my neighborhood which is just over a mile. Main Goal for this 5K is to finish the in under an hour if I walk the whole thing and under 45 minutes if I run/walk. My knees have been bothering me after the last few times I ran, so I have been walking 2 miles a day this week. We’ll see where I end up on Saturday!

How was your week? Stop over and share your story at The Sisterhood!

2 Emma's a Winner!

A few weeks ago I was strolling thru cyberspace and came across a blog all about Dachshunds! Anyone who has read my blog knows my 6 year old Emma holds such a special place in my heart, so this was a great find.

Whosyourdachshund is devoted to the cutest dogs on the planet and the people lucky enough to be their owners.  I love reading stories about doxies, because anyone who has owned a dachshund know very well the personality that they posess!  Anyway, there was a contest to enter to win a t-shirt from Psychedelic Fur. They have lots of cute stuff for your pooch! So I entered...and ended up winning!

Actually we all know Emma was the real winner!  She loves it!

 Go check out Whosyourdachshund for some heart warming stories and great pictures!