January 9, 2010

14
The Monday Project-Project Me

Rethink Your Shrink, The Monday Project
Let me tell you...the first Shrinking Jeans homework assignment for Rethink your Shrink was tough! It really was!  Nothing like trying to understand why you do things and then realizing some of them and how easy they should be to change, right?  Seems like it should be pretty easy, but I guess if it were then none of us would be where we are.  So here goes my introspection...maybe some of you can provide me insight or something that worked for you.


Here are some pictures of me from the last few years.  Using these as motivation! (and of course I tinkered with various haircolor and styles...I'm a woman!)
2006  (190ish lbs)
 
 2007  (170ish lbs)
 
 2008  (180ish lbs)


When did I hit my “rock bottom”?
My rock bottom moment was on my birthday of 2008. A friend had a Luai party and everyone was planning on wearing their bathing suits and grass skirts. Well being a “bit on the plump” side I decided just to get a lei and that would be my Hawaiian wardrobe.

Here I am right before I headed to the party. (189 lbs)


 So I get to the party, excited to see my friends, yet it was soo depressing to see all these women who were confident in their bodies having fun and there I was sitting with my feet in the pool. I vowed then and there that next year I would wear a bikini to my friends Luai party.

What was my plan for 2009?
So I started watching my calories and dropped 10 lbs by Labor Day...met my first mini goal.  Felt great, was on my way to losing some more...and then my world collapsed when my mom suddenly passed away.  I spent the next 3 months just trying to keep my head above water and not cry at the drop of a hat.  End up gaining almost all of it back.

Christmas 2008  (185 lbs)


So I revamped my goals after New years.  I wanted to lose 15 lbs by Valentines day, 30 lbs by Easter, 50 lbs by my birthday in July and meet my goal of losing 65 lbs by Labor Day.

Did I meet my goals?
I met the first 2 goals, then backslide a bit, missed the birthday goal by 10 lbs and then only lost another 7 lbs thru labor day and then started backsliding to where I ended the year. It seems like I still feel the need to reward myself for meeting a mini-goal by splurging and enjoying all the foods I used to do and not exercising regularly if at all. Sometimes those splurges easily feel all too comfortable and I get back to how I used to be which lead me to almost 200 lbs.

Here is a comparison picture from my birthday in 2008 (189 lbs) and 2009 (159 lbs).

September 2009 (142 lbs) (just days before I stopped exercising and counting my calories)


Why didn't I meet those goals...what stopped me?
Besides the whole treating myself with food for loosing weight thing?  (now that I write that it sounds awful!)  Basic motivation is the toughest for me. I can be a positive person and often have to pat myself on the back for the little things I do everyday in the right direction, just to keep myself from slipping back to my unhealthy patterns.

What about 2009 did not work?
I tend to have patterns where I go really good, reach a mini-goal I set for myself and then “take a break” and backslide 5-10 lbs in the wrong direction.

What are my weaknesses?
I like really good burgers and fries….and Reeses products: cups, eggs, pieces…anything with chocolate and peanut butter basically.

What are my strengths?
I used to keep a spreadsheet of all my foods, my daily weight, and when I exercised and how many calories I burned. I liked being able to see the relation between what I lost that week and the calories I put in my body. Working out definitely worked. Although I didn’t make my weight goal, I continued to shrink while working out. It IS true! I also started the C25K program, and got up to running 5 minutes at a time, then had some ankle trouble and never got back to it. I know that if I want to see results, whether it’s on the scale or by looser fitting clothes, I have to work at it.

December 31, 2009...158.6 lbs
 


14 comments:

runninginagirlsworld said...

Mendie, you definitely have been on a journey. But you have to remember that on every journey there are up's and down's. What distinguishes whether or not the journey was good, was whether you enjoyed the view. You can reach your goal. It is so easy to get off track, but you have to remember the path you want to be on and where you are headed, otherwise you get lost in the forest of chocolate and peanut butter. (My husband used to dip Chips-Ahoy cookies in a jar of peanut butter. We like that combo as well!) Glad I get to be a part of your journey!

Tiffany said...

I used to reward myself with food as well and just recently decided that wasn't working so well for me! It is definitely a journey... Hopefully you are stepping away from this post very proud of yourself because you have come so far! Keep up the good work and honor yourself in healthy ways as you take steps forward.

Nadine said...

Sometimes just setting these goals out on paper makes them easier to achieve. You have come a long way with some pretty serious challenges! This will be your year!

Syl said...

I think you are doing wonderful. There are going to be ups and downs on your journey and you are proving that you will not give up. That is important because this weight loss gig if for life. it's not going to stop and being ok with a few slip ups just shows that you are human.
Keep up the great work, I hope for you that this year is everything you want it to be.

T.J. said...

Learning from your journey is what it's all about: every attempt brings you closer to your goal. You've come so far and are amazing- keep striving!

Mom of 3 boys said...

You have had a journey. I am so sorry for your loss. I can see how you would have had some setbacks but you are on the right path now and you can do it. This will be your year.

Brooke said...

we can't give our selves "time off" for good behavior by going back our our bad behaviors. its something i'm bad about too. maybe the occasional splurge here and there would work better (one meal as opposed to a whole week...or month)

Furry Bottoms said...

I really like this post a lot. This is the first time in YEARS that I've seriously wanted to lose weight. All your picture comparations make me want to do the same for myself.

I think you did a terrific job. Look at that picture of you NOW, and back in 2006. You've worked very hard.

Now, about rewarding!! I am the same way as you. Whenever somebody tells me I am looking slimmer, I treat by stuffing my face. I know, right? I am going to try this-- for each postive comment or postive action I receive, I am going to say to myself that I really followed through. It's amazing how each time I can say that, I feel accomplished.

Christie O. said...

you are just about as cute as a button at any weight, fyi!! yep, that was quite a journey you've been on, with lots of ups and downs. you've done so great, you are so close to your goal!! you have really come a long way, you can literally see each obstacle along the way and how you've overcome it! congratulations for all your hard work and stick it out sister, i know you can do it! XO

audrey said...

Mendie, You are so beautiful. In ALL of these pictures. I totally want to jump through my computer screen and hug you. I am similar in that I tend to reward myself with food and when I do good end up gaining it back because I get confident. Hate that pattern. I know this challenge is different. I can feel it. I'm struggling with the mental battle as I approach the physical one. It's tough. But you've come this far. I know you'll go all the way!

Heather D said...

I love this. You're an inspiration and I think you're totally figuring this stuff out. You go!

Melissa List said...

Your story is SUCH an inspiration. I am sitting here at 150 and whining that I will never get into the 140s. Which is ridiculous. :p Thanks for posting your story, lovely!

april said...

Finding balance is key. To not completely deprive yourself while you're being "good" so that you don't go overboard when you're being "bad".

You're beautiful no matter what weight you are, and you're journey is such an inspirational one. Keep up the fantastic work and you will reach your goals for sure! We'll do it together!

Elaine A. said...

I think you are doing fabulously RIGHT NOW and that as long as you stay focused on that you are going to continue to do so. Keep it up my friend!

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