13 My Thanksgiving Confession

We had decided a while ago that we were going to tell our families at Thanksgiving about the pregnancy. It being our first pregnancy and being afriad something would happen, we wanted to wait until we were further along before sharing the news. So we waited and waited for the days to pass until we could spill the beans!  We brainstormed cute ways to tell them, would we just pass them the ultrasound picture or should we come up with something more unique? I had seen lots of ideas on websites and blogs, and found the perfect one for me! I worked with a dear friend, who was sworn to secrecy, to help me make it happen. She did awesome!
 
We had Thanksgiving dinner with my family at 4pm on Thursday, so we got all our stuff ready and headed to my uncles house in my hometown.  People slowly started to filter in and we all stood around inside and chatted while some people were getting things out of the oven and moved to the buffet line. 

Grandma was already sitting at the kitchen table surrounded by a few aunts and I looked around, doing a headcount of what aunts were missing and realized they all were in the house. I looked over at my husband, and he nodded like, it's go time!  So I went over and asked the ones who were in the living room if they could come in, saying I wanted to talk to everyone about something.

They all gathered in the kitchen and I walked up to the table and said Grandma I have something I want to show you. And then I took off my sweater and told her to read my shirt.

She kind of looked confused and my aunt that was standing beside her started to read it to her. She said "Expecting a little......erjrtkjhkdj!" The rest kind of came out in a blur of tears and screams and excitement, then Grandma said" What....no you aren't....Mendie, are you pregnant....are you serious?" I nodded my head and said "Yes I am!" and she ran up and hugged me and everyone else started to scream and shout it to the men who were sitting in the other room and in the garage. "Mendie's gonna have a baby!!!" I'm really surprised some of you in the central United States didn't hear them screaming!

Grandma started to scold me for not telling her sooner, but I said "would you have been able to keep this a secret?" and she admitted no and was ok with it. She was just happy our dream finally came true. (ps. She has been calling me Little Mama ever since.)

Then everyone came in and started hugging me and crying happy tears, and I was like, whoa..."Pregnant lady needs some air!" Laughing but kinda being serious, once you get in a hug pile, it's hard to get out of it! But it was great, everyone then took turns coming over and congratulating me and hugging me and then making the way over to congratulate my husband.  It was great!

When my uncle Jim came in, he gave me a hug and said "Congratulations, Debbie would be thrilled!". I teared up and said "I know she would, I got to tell her. She was actually the first to know." He smiled and said you did and asked when, and I told him. He said, "yes she was still opening her eyes at that point, so I know she heard you." Everyone just smiled when they found out that I shared it with her before she passed on. It was important to me to do that, she was like another Mom to be growing up.

So then after everyone hugged and smiled, we ate and people asked questions like how long we had known (umm, the whole 3 months) and what we wanted (a healthy full term baby). Then we ate. It was nice. I then called my relatives that live in St. Louis and Arizona and told them the news.

After we left my families house, we stopped over at my husbands Grandparents and told them. I think they were kinda in shock. But they were happy, but really I think kinda like wow, for real? We then headed over to his Mom's house. She had just gotten out of the hospital from knee replacement that morning, so his family was going to celebrate Thanksgiving on Sunday. But we couldn't wait. So we stopped over there, I took off my sweater again and handed her the ultrasound, and her face brightened up with excitement. She had looked a little pale and in pain when we first got there, but by the time we left, she looked like a brand new woman. Amazing how good news like that can physically change the way you feel! She was thrilled but can't wait 6 more months to hold him/her! She's ready for a little grandbaby!

Asked everyone to keep it hush until my appt yesterday morning. I hadn't been feeling as queasy the last few weeks and I'm a worry wort and just wanted to make sure my bloodwork came back ok and everything was good before telling the world about our news. Went into our appointment, he poked and asked how I was doing squirted some lube on mah belly and brought over a little blue machine. He said, we might not be able to pick anything up today, sometimes it won't be audible on the doppler until 14 wks. But after moving it around a bit and pushing around my belly, we heard the heartbeat. Strong and steady. It was the best sound, calmed my fears and reassured me that everything was fine.

So the news was spread yesterday on here, on facebook and to the rest of my coworkers. All the love and happiness that we have received is overwhelming! I am so thankful to have so many people loving this baby already! I can't wait to share my journey with all of you. Thank you for wanting to experience it with me!

26 I've been keeping a secret

Happy Monday everyone! Have a good holiday?
I'm afraid that I have been keeping a secret. Forgive me?
But I wanted to wait until the time was right, and that time my friends is now.
Someone wants to say hello.

We are having a baby! See up there....that was my bean 4 weeks ago.
Its amazing-you can almost make out the little eye and nose! God bless technology!
I am 12 1/2 weeks along now and we couldn't be more thrilled that our family
is growing right under our noses, err bosom actually.
I was pretty queasy and felt like constantly yacking and was T-I-R-E-D for the first few months,
but the queasiness went away about a week ago, and now I'm just mostly tired.

Went to the dr this morning and got to hear the hearbeat again, such an amazing sound to my soul!
Thank you for all the prayers, even if you didn't know what you were praying for.
It worked, so I appreciate all of them!

I'll share how we told our families at Thanksgiving tomorrow.
It was awesome to give them some happy.
We needed some happy.
And the bean....the bean makes me so happy!

4 Happy Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving. Time to reflect back on everything that you are thankful for. While it has been a difficult past few months, I still have so so much to be thankful for.

I have a wonderful husband who I am lucky to call my best friend. I have an amazing family that I am lucky almost all live within an hour of me and are huggers. Hugs mean alot when you don't know what to say. I have a handful of close friends that I know would do anything for me and I would so the same for them. I have a job making good money doing something that I love and keeps me close to home.

There are a few other personal things that I am giving thanks for this year, and those things are what has kept me going thru these difficult months. I know that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we just have to look for them in a new way.

Have a wonderful holiday my friends, I am so thankful for all of you that I have gotten to know thru blogging. Thank you for being you!

6 True Confessions

Hello friends, it has been a heavy week so I figured it was the perfect time to get a few things off my chest!

• We celebrated the life of my aunt on Saturday, and laid her to rest in my hometown. Saturday just happened to be our 6th wedding anniversary. During the funeral, they played a slideshow of pictures that my husband and I put together of her life. I cried extra hard when pictures of me and Deb popped up from my wedding day. I am so glad she got to experience that with me, but it made it extra sad that she was no longer going to be around.

• I am truely blessed by those of you that have sent me messages and emails over the last few weeks. You have no idea how much a random *hug* means-so thank you. I appreciate you continuing to stop by my blog even when I haven't been around much lately. That will soon change, got some big things planned for this blog!

• I am a worrier by nature, those of you who know me are aware of this.  I always have been a what if this kind of person. I am trying to remember to breath and let things happen as they naturally will. But its so hard to wait for things sometimes, especially when you know they are wonderful amazing things! Patience is a virtue that I wish I had more of.

• I ate a piece of Pecan Pie yesterday....and it was fabulous. 

• I still have baskets of laundry from last week piled on the bedroom floor, those will be out away before today is over. Promise. Well I will promise I will try to.

• I am starting to get a cough and touch of a sore throat. I am not a fan of being sick, but I think my body is just exhausted from all the emotional drain of the past few weeks. Just hope it passes on its own quickly.

• I am looking forward to Thanksgiving more this year then ever!  What a wonderful time to count our blessings and be with family!

Anything you want to share? It lightens the load to talk with others...go ahead...I'm listening.

2 Memories of a Roadtrip

I spent last evening scanning over a hundred photos to use in a slideshow for the memorial service tomorrow. I came upon this one of us when we went to the North American Christian Convention in California. We took the next week and drove over to Arizona to visit my Aunt Carol and then headed up to Nevada to visit friends in North Las Vegas.

What a beautiful memory.

(Uncle Jim, Annie, Aunt Debbie, me and Aunt Carol)

Grand Canyon 1992

11 Heaven has a new angel

 

Deborah Jean Dolen Bryan

9.27.55 to 11.16.10

Heaven welcomed a beautiful angel yesterday.

Aunt Debbie passed away at 7:10 A.M. at hospice with her loving husband and daughter by her side.  

She was one of the purest  people I knew, 

and I know that she is now wrapped in Gods loving arms and no longer sick.

She once again is walking, singing and laughing. 

Her spirit is no longer held back by her weakened body.

We are all blessed to have had her in our life, and I am so thankful 

that we got an extra four years with her after her diagnosis. 

The way she lived with brain cancer was an inspiration to so many. 

I know you are now smiling from above, 

and I'm happy that you are with the maker that you have worshiped for your entire life. 

God so proud of all of the work you did with your time here.

I will miss you Deb, you taught me so many things. 

I have peace knowing that you are no longer in pain and are not silenced by your sickness.

I am glad I got to tell you goodbye and share the things that were in my heart.

Rest in Peace dear one, I will see you again one day.

12 Her final journey home

The tests have come back  and there is nothing else that can be done to help my dear Aunt Debbie to wake up.  Her brain isn't communicating with the rest of her body.  We are so thankful that she is not feeling any pain, but am saddened that the lines connecting her mind to her loving heart and body have disappeared.

My uncle and cousin had to make the heartbreaking decision today to follow my aunts wishes and take her off of life support.  She has been off the ventilator since this afternoon and is breathing on her own. Debbie didn't want to be kept alive by a machine and didn't want to be forced food thru a tube, so as hard as it is for us all to take away the things that are helping her stay alive, we have to do what she would want. She was transported back to our hometown this evening to Hospice where her family can be with her 24/7 as she continues her journey home.

Debbie has always been such an independent woman and always took care of others. She is a go getter and would often take charge of the situation.  She would tell you what you thought, even if it might not be what you wanted to hear.  She was a leader and took the lead respectfully, without hurting anyone or stepping on anyone's toes.

Aunt Debbie had a living will and had thought about the way that she would want to continue living if her cancer were to become debilitating, she made her decision and choose to live the last few days of her life on her own strength.  She is a strong woman of faith and I am finding comfort in the idea that she isn't afraid of dying and is ready to meet her heavenly father.  She has put up a hard fight over the past four years and is ready to let God lead her down the final path of this journey. I do not remember ever hearing her complain during her battle, and that speaks volumes about the kind of person that she was, she didn't want to burden us with it. Instead you may just see the occasional tear slip down her cheek. What an amazing example of inner strength she is!

So my friends, I ask you this one last time for a few final prayers.
Please pray for my Uncle Jim who hasn't left Debbie's side and having to say goodbye to his best friend and wife of 35 years . He has been an amazing husband and has held her hand thru this difficult journey and never let go.

(Taken at their daughters wedding July 2009)

Please pray for my cousin Annie who is losing her Momma at the tender age of 21 years old.  There are so many things that I hope she learned from the way her mother lived her life and fought this disease, even if she doesn't realize some of them yet.

 (Taken at the Light the Night Walk September 2010)

Please pray for her mother, her brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews and all the friends and church family that loves her and is so proud of her for staring brain cancer right in the face for so long and staying strong.  And she did it all with grace and poise we all wish we could possess.

We love you Debbie and miss you already...have a peaceful trip home.